Heads and Tails

(Toss a coin 14 times to find your route through the poem, taking lines from the left and right side of the page. Your coin-determined sonnet is one of 16,384 possible.)
Heads Tails
Why should I trust a god who turns up late? To love? Perhaps it's time to take the bait
The circumstances chafe me, urge me choose When I've been trapped by such a subtle ruse
And you, my old companion, turn the screws. Whichever way I fall, I'll surely lose.
That voice is whispering - it's getting late Why do it now? Why is it I can't wait?
And if I find the right thing, is that fate? The claims so finely balanced, delicate.
For if I don't, what reason may I use? For if I don't - what freedom this renews
But if I do, what freedom will I lose? But if I do, is reason what I'll lose?
If this is higher volume - that has weight. And who is winning while I hesitate?
Like balancing a reason with a song I'll act... but then suppose I've chosen wrong,
How will I know? Some things can't be compared. Will wonders compensate if I've despaired?
Try loving truth, when you can't find what's true. Whatever comes, I've trusted none like you...
So I will sit and hesitate for long, You almost mock me when you say I'm strong,
No thing I think of can make me prepared, Because within this shell, I think I'm scared.
Hand me the coin - it's all that I can do. Far on I'll say: "If only then I knew..."