The flat tire monologue
(To be read in a single breath)
There was air in the spare, I swear. I know
I forget that it's there sometimes, but this
time I'm sure! And I'm so insecure - so
you're out of line. It's all very fine - hiss
whine and accuse me. But what is it like?
It's like you just use me. You know when you
lose me, abuse me. So get on your bike,
take a hike! Find a partner who's smart, who
flatters your ego, tells you that you know
it all. Have a ball with your kindred mind,
who's kindly assuring, never says no.
Till one day you'll rise all surprised to find
you miss me... and I'll miss you too, so, say,
why don't we make up and call the AA?